This is a good beginning to get the idea out. But right now the information is just happening as events, there isn't a point of perspective or strong voice to these events.
1. Have more establishment of both the location and of the characters. Set up the father as a hunter and traditional caveman by having him carry up a prey with him. Give him a spear and more ape-like/caveman way of moving. Set up the son better as a being an evolution in the species. 2. Also, you need more acting poses to convey the thoughts clearer (or you need dialogue included with these panels).
I do want to see more to see more of where this goes. Thanks for sharing! (Also, publish more panels at a time--don't be afraid to setup multiple panels in an image: http://benbalistreri.blogspot.com/2005_12_01_archive.html
Thanks James! Wise words bro, I do have more establishing shots that comes before this, of the whole setting of the village and dad (but not the son). they were rather poorly and hastily done so I thought I 'd clean them up a bit before posting :) I do agree that I need contrast between the characters..I'll try harder!!! Thanks again!
This is a good beginning to get the idea out. But right now the information is just happening as events, there isn't a point of perspective or strong voice to these events.
ReplyDelete1. Have more establishment of both the location and of the characters. Set up the father as a hunter and traditional caveman by having him carry up a prey with him. Give him a spear and more ape-like/caveman way of moving. Set up the son better as a being an evolution in the species.
2. Also, you need more acting poses to convey the thoughts clearer (or you need dialogue included with these panels).
I do want to see more to see more of where this goes. Thanks for sharing! (Also, publish more panels at a time--don't be afraid to setup multiple panels in an image: http://benbalistreri.blogspot.com/2005_12_01_archive.html
Thanks James! Wise words bro,
ReplyDeleteI do have more establishing shots that comes before this, of the whole setting of the village and dad (but not the son). they were rather poorly and hastily done so I thought I 'd clean them up a bit before posting :)
I do agree that I need contrast between the characters..I'll try harder!!!
Thanks again!